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where can you buy antabuseDo you have something wearing on your mind?

Are you experiencing anxiety about a situation in your life?

Are you feeling worry?

Well where are you? Now that might sound like a weird question. You might say, “I’m in my front room.”

Ok… how about this question then: Where is your mind? Now you might say, “Umm… in my head silly!”

But when you feel anxiety about something or worry – your mind is… in the FUTURE.

Say what????

Chances are you are feeling anxiety or worry over some circumstance that has not happened yet. Something has occurred and now you are forecasting scenarios. This is causing those icky emotions.

Icky emotions are icky because at the base, we feel out of control. We feel like something is looming and is GOING to happen to us (hint – future word there in ‘going’).

And when these icky feelings take over it is very easy to spiral downwards. We’ve all done it. One bad thing makes us think of other bad things. And then we think of multiple bad scenarios for each of those bad things. And pretty soon we are stuck in such a quagmire it becomes really hard to see anything positive or even take action to change things.

How do we feel better? Usually it is by feeling in control again. And guess what the only thing you have control over is? That’s right, the PRESENT. This moment, right now.

Think about it. All you can control is what is happening now… in this second.

You are not in control of the past. That has already happened. There is no going back and changing it.

The future hasn’t happened yet. How are you going to control it? You may influence it. And how do you do that? By something you are doing in the PRESENT (which, sorry to sound redundant, is the only thing you really have control over). See how that works?

So when you are feeling regret, or worry, or anxiety try these tips:

  • Stop and just breathe. This will help to calm your mind.
  • Start listing things you are grateful for. This is something that brings you to the present quickly. And it makes you smile. This is a great way to turn the tide from icky feelings to better feelings.
  • Focus on the now. If something has happened just focus on this minute. Are you ok? Are you still breathing? Do you still have your wits about you? Then chances are, if you admit it, you are actually ok.
  • Don’t catastrophize things! That is a very quick route to regret, worry and anxiety! The truth is you are spinning your wheels on those emotions over something that has not actually happened. That bad circumstance does not exist! And only you can make sure it does not come to pass by taking action. And taking action when? In the PRESENT (which, yes again, is the only thing you really have any control over).

When you bring your mind to the present you can regain control. This doesn’t mean that bad or unpleasant things aren’t going to happen. But by staying in the present you will have a clearer mind. This will allow you to problem solve, rather than catastrophize.

Create an action plan. When you are creating you are in the present. And then take it one step at a time. Stay active in the moment. And those icky emotions will be kept at bay.

This takes practice, so don’t worry if you find yourself freaking out from time to time. Just stop and bring your mind to the present. Remember this is where you have control.

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  1. Cheryl says:

    Being in the present is something that seems to calm me for sure. Often don’t get everything accomplished I thought I could ~ but helps me slow down! Love your description here because you actually do regain control !

  2. Norma Doiron says:

    To me, it is comforting to say I don’t know what the future holds BUT I know WHO holds the future. Now, that is a big relief to me, that it is NOT in my control. Makes my life happier! YAY! 🙂

  3. Barbara Keen says:

    Thanks for all the great tips! I tend to worry about the present but not the past. The unknown is the hardest for me. I know that is not how life works for any of us. We can’t tell the future or predict what will happen in our lives!

  4. Barbara Keen says:

    Thanks for sharing all these great points! I don’t live in the past but I tend to worry about things that are happening right now in my life. Especially the unknown fear! I have been working on my business for 2 years and the unknown if it will be a money maker or not is stressful for me. I want to help my husband out financially with all our bills and this makes me crazy not knowing the out come.!!

    • Unknown can be SO scary! I totally understand where you are. Keep your faith strong. It sounds like your business is a calling for you. That means it is part of your destiny. Don’t let fear take that! The reward from sticking to it will pay off!

  5. I just love this topic and I’m so glad I learned how to let all that stuff go ages ago. Being fully in the now, so amazingly immersed in the present, leaves no room for regrets or angst. So many people live their whole lives caught up in the past or dreading the future. Its truly wonderful that there are people like you to show them another way. Good stuff!

    • I love that: Being fully in the now, so amazingly immersed in the present, leaves no room for regrets or angst. That is so awesome… and true! I have found this is the quickest way to toss worry, regret, etc to the proverbial curb!

  6. hjcameron says:

    Great advice, it isn’t always easy to do as we’ve been trained to think about the what is going to happen next.

    • I agree Heather. We are taught to always look ahead. And I think that definitely has its place. I had to relearn to keep that in its place and be able to just be.. in the moment. It’s a tough balance sometimes.

  7. bestrealhealth says:

    Yes, live in the present so you will have the memories of the past that you will not regret. Live in the present, plan for the future so you will be present when you get there.

    • I love that Pat – plan for the future so you will be present when you get there! I think this actually affects how one plans for their future. I know it has for me. I make plans and am SO excited for when the time comes to enjoy those moments!

  8. MamaRed says:

    Oh yeah…seems to much easier to be in the past or the future than the NOW. And yet most of the time what I was freaking about didn’t happen, or didn’t happen the way I envisioned. Yeah, some things have been tough…and they were the ones I never even considered.

    So I’m taking your first step, breathe, as my reminder. Again!

    Laugh lots, Love more!
    MamaRed

    • I know I have been there (multiple times!) – worrying and that circumstance never even comes to pass. And that’s the great thing about choosing to live your life as a conscious creator – you can always adjust and get back on track!

  9. Ines Roe says:

    Wonderful post and so very true. Staying in the present rather than the past or future is the antidote to anxiety. Your anxiety tips are totally on target. Thank your for this great post

    • You are so welcome Ines. We seem to be trained to live in anxiety, with the news and expectations of others and pressures around us. So hopefully this helps to rebalance and live moment to moment – fully invested.

  10. The human challenge is staying in the moment, as we all know A. Lynn. Having six planets in air, I am always flying somewhere in the future and practicing mindfulness helps me be in the here and the now. There are many ways people can get control of the wandering mind and you have offered some wonderful places to start!

  11. rozbeads says:

    Great idea to stay in the present and suggestions to do that are helpful. As a rule, Im not a worrier and do stay in the present.

  12. Debbie says:

    Stop breath and be thankful.

  13. I try not to worry, because it sure doesn’t change anything. If anything it makes things worse.

  14. This is wonderful!! We might not be able to control the future, but we can control the way we respond to it. Thanks!

  15. meryl444 says:

    Great tips on how to stay in the “present”. Being present every in all that we do helps with our overall well being. When you are doing something have your mind on that. If not take a break and refocus. We all get so many things going it is easy to get caught up in what we need to get done for later and we forget to enjoy now. Then the moment passes and we can’t get it it back.

    • Great point – keep an eye on what is in this present moment because when this moment is gone you cannot get it back. This will hopefully make folks rethink some of what takes the priority over their time. Once the moment is gone, it’s gone.

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