I saw a wonderful sentiment the other day.
Success isn’t about what you have – it’s about how you feel.
This turns the idea of success on its head for some. The 
roadmap I was given when I was younger was that doing things in the right order (getting good grades, staying out of trouble, getting into a good college, getting a degree (or two), getting a good job, behaving, getting promotions, getting married and eventually a house on the west side of town) then you would have success.
I didn’t look at the fine print on that guarantee because it didn’t prove to be true. I mean I accumulated all that “stuff” I was supposed to, but found myself unhappy, unfulfilled, and well… downright miserable.
After wondering “how this could happen to me” I realized that I let it happen to me. Well dang it! That smarts! But it’s the truth. I followed someone else’s roadmap. I racked up things that were supposed to give me success. But the question I kept coming to was: Success to who???
It certainly wasn’t my idea of success.
So after some soul searching and plenty of personal development, I stood my ground and wrote my own roadmap.
Now I don’t have as much annual income (…yet!!!!). I don’t have as big a house – in fact I am renting instead of owning. I don’t have as much stuff. But you know what? I feel more successful than I ever have.
Let’s alter the perspective.
I can list of the things I DON’T have… but better yet….
What I DO have is the knowledge that my work is making an impact on the world and matters. I do know that people are benefiting from my words and help. I do speak MY truth now. And I do have freedom – freedom of time, freedom to create my destiny, freedom to choose who I work with, and freedom knowing that I offer value.
And seeing what I do have – I know I am pretty lucky.
I am the healthiest I’ve been. I have a great relationship that makes me so deeply happy. I have honest connections with people every day.
So I challenge you to:
- Look and see if you are on your own road, or are you following someone else’s roadmap.
- Really ask yourself – what would I love to do?
- Stop thinking about what you don’t have and don’t want and make a list of what you do have and do want.
Are you still collecting all the toys hoping to cross the finish line with the most? Or do you look at your life, smile and FEEL your own success?
Next week I’ll give some tips on how to start figuring out what your own roadmap may look like. Until then, think about the above bullets.
Totally enjoyed your perspective A Lynn 🙂 Yes, we must be following our own path and not someone else’s so that we can achieve what we need to for us and not others 🙂 Great post and share!
Your article resonates with me at such a deep level particularly as my current guided meditations reflect so much of what you are saying. Success is certainly a state of being and has nothing to do with status or material acquisition. If it did, there wouldn’t be so many miserable professionals, celebrities, bankers or others who are materially endowed.
Success comes from within and as you say is synonymous with being free. Free to unleash your authentic self on to the world and live your truth through the wonderful, life-changing work that you do. The big house and fancy car etc will soon follow because when you are doing what makes you happy you mesh with the creative energy of the Universe. Your inner and outer world are in perfect sync.
You are doing such valuable work A.Lynn, I feel your energy between the words on this page and that is true success. You are doing you and creating a better world for all.
Thanks for a great blog and I hope those who read, pause for a moment and consider what really matters in creating a meaningful and purposeful life.
I am always talking about this exact topic! “The Master Plan,” as I refer to it, is rarely anyone’s real definition of success. Choosing to live within your own expectations is the most powerful stance one can take to gain control of their lives.
Like you, I gave up on this notion of accumulating “toys”, as you call them, a long time ago. I’ve written about how my goal when I was younger to be “rich and famous”, one with the other wouldn’t do. Now that I am technically neither, I feel that who I am and what I contribute to the world is much more important than what I own (I am grateful for all I do have though) or how many people know me.
We all have amazing things to give to the world and as long as we are happy and feel we are being authentic and true to ourselves, then that is the real measure of success. I still have the notion that one of the songs I’ve written will positively impact the world and bring me great fame and fortune and I know it is very highly possible. Dreaming big is always a good thing.
The world is changing very rapidly and the times we live in do ask us to be less about ourselves and more about what we are giving back to others. I really enjoy hearing that you have learned this lesson rather young in life and that you feel happy and fulfilled with the life you are creating. Congrats on sharing this message with the world and staying on your own path and journey, A. Lynn.
Congrats to you for taking the road less traveled. Success is different for each one of us, and it’s such a joy to follow a unique path that makes your heart sing.
I was very fortunate in falling into a job upon college graduation many years ago that suited me. I spent 30 years helping people and making a difference, so I know exactly what you mean. In retirement, I discovered a hidden talent and once again, love what I do. But what I have discovered is that, it isn’t about what I do, but the person I am. It may sound awkward, but it is who I BE. The human being who leaves long meaningful comments, spends a lot of time talking virtually so that I be known and get to know others. I love the journey you have taken. I took a similar one and daily create my life. This to me is success.
Hi A Lynn,
I appreciate your perspective. You are so right, success can look different to us all and we have to be willing to open our mind to our own uniqueness and define it.
Thanks Don! I do think it is imperative to define our own success. Otherwise we are living someone’s else definition and can so easily lose ourselves!
You’re so right! it’s how we think the toys will make us feel that is the draw – when if we can get that feeling another way, a longer lasting way, it’s far healthier for us all. I also love what I do – and yes, I probably could be making more income by using sleazy marketing tactics but that’s not what I’m in this for. I love making money on my own terms – money for me is freedom, not toys. and the joy comes from the work I do – the mental stretch, the connection with others, helping people, teaching – I love it and wouldn’t swap it for double the money.
That is so awesome! I do think freedom (and our own definition of it) is key. That is often what people really want, but they get sidetracked by the shiny things they THINK they should have.
Great post. I agree we all have a different path and one size does not fit all. We have to be willing to have the courage to follow our truth. Once we follow our truth we will be met with happiness and the “success” we desire.
I couldn’t agree more Meryl and I love how you put it: Have the COURAGE to follow our truth! That is awesome!