Have you ever wondered why you were going through something? Or wondered why things weren’t working out as you planned? Or wondered why all those twists and turns came your way?
This saying “blessings wrapped in sandpaper” is a great phrase I heard from Lisa Nichols. It has stuck with me.
We think and plan and schedule things, and then sometimes things go awry… from early on, or even perhaps late in the game when we think we are home free. We feel neglected, mentally beat up and emotionally bruised as we ride the choppy waves of this experience gone sideways and it is easy to question. Question our choices that we made. Question the planning that we did. And of course ask the inevitable question of why! Why is this happening? Why me? Why now? Why this way?
I remember embarking on a relationship. I had grand plans for this relationship. I thought this was THE ONE. I was sure of it. I was convinced this relationship would be a lifetime of happiness. And then things went terribly awry. No matter how hard I tried to make things ok, it wasn’t getting better. No matter how hard I wanted to make things work they fell apart. No matter how much I dedicated myself, worked on it, nurtured it, adjusted for it the relationship became broken beyond repair.
I was heartbroken.
What happened to all the plans? What happened to the well thought out happy ending? How did things get so off track?
I inevitably had to acknowledge that the relationship was terminally shattered. No amount of planning, mending or fixing was going to make it work.
I felt so broken.
I started questioning so many things. Everything from how could this happen to why can’t I fix this. I yelled from the top of my proverbial mountain that I am successful dang it and I can make this work. Only fate had different plans.
Often once we go through the unexpected we find a greater treasure on the other side than we could have ever foreseen.
I accepted this relationship was done. It was not healthy. It was not serving either party. It was not fixable. I now understood this and knew it was time to move on.
It took a great leap of faith. I finally knew I had to step out into the unknown… the unplanned… the scary. I had to switch thinking I knew how things looked down the road to taking in what was just in front of me. I wasn’t sure where this road was leading, but it was now my road.
And you know what I found? I found a resilient, strong, beautiful me. I found a me that realized what I really wanted with a never before seen clarity. I realized I was actually hiding in that relationship and not being me in my full awesome and outgoing form. I realized I had a new beginning.
What amazing lessons I learned. What a wonderful treasure I found.
I had a lot to come to terms with as my relationship ended. Why I made the choices I made. Why I allowed myself to be treated in a way that I should never have accepted. Why I felt I had to fix it all. Why I felt like a failure when I couldn’t fix it. And these were on me – I made these choices. I have said before that when you live empowered you take 100% radical accountability for your life and the choices you make – good and bad! This reconciliation was my sandpaper.
But my blessing has been amazing. I have such a stronger foundation now. I have a new view on living a full life. I found my calling through this experience and more importantly I found the strength to live that life. I now see that I cannot put on my super cape and take on everything. I am not the savior figure and it is not my place to play that role. I now know what I want and need in a relationship. I now see how I can be a much better partner.
I know I’ll experience more sandpaper, but I am ready for the lessons and blessings. I can now look for the blessings and not just see or feel the sandpaper. I am ready for the transformation from difficult times to learning invaluable lessons and incorporating them into a life made stronger.
I invite you to share a blessing that was wrapped in sandpaper in the comments below.
“Blessings wrapped in sandpaper!” What an amazing statement that creates many thoughts. We (my husband and I together) have certainly experienced what it is like to go through the rough sandpaper the last 8 years. Retirement was not as we had planned. The economy turned & we lost thousands of dollars that cannot be recouped. My hubby’s heart required some physical pampering we had not expected. Adjustments are slowly turning into blessings, although there are still many rough edges that need sanding. We have learned and are even desiring to live a more simple life as far as worldly treasures. We have make even more healthy choices (to an already healthy lifestyle) as far as food choices and activities. Now looking forward to the youth of our old age… our 70’s filled with the Joy of God’s many blessings.
I love your perspective Pat! And I also really love how you said ” Now looking forward to the youth of our old age.” That is awesome!
Almost 30 years ago, my spouse and I made a decision to move to rural Arkansas and homestead. Very little worked out the way we thought. Five years later we left, discouraged and defeated – or so we thought. Throughout our life, we’ve used so much we learned. Last year, we returned for the first time – and were so surprised by what we saw in the area where we had lived (so many positive changes). We never could have appreciated it without the first experience. It became one of our most enjoyable vacations in years.
That is awesome Alana! Perspective is a wonderful thing.
I had not heard the phrase, ‘blessings wrapped in sandpaper.” It says a lot…I may just have to borrow it! 🙂
Well, I borrowed it from Lisa Nichols – so go for it! 🙂 It is so eloquent and really captures the essence of that experience.
I believe once we make the right decision everything starts to fall in places. But until we are mature enough to know which decisions are right, we go through a lot of learning and sandpaper.
Yes, and I think sandpaper can visit us throughout life. But the more we learn and know, the better decisions we can make! 🙂
I have always believed things happen for a reason and hold onto that even when things go terrible wrong. Blessings in sandpaper is a good way to describe it.
Thanks Terri. The deeper learning is definitely in the journey!
The title of the article is incredible! Using sandpaper! Fantastic!
Thank you. I wish I came up with it (hehe), but it just says so much.
This is an amazing look at real life. I’ve never heard this expression before, but it certainly does apply to the real world (at least to mine).
Thank you Tina! I think we all experience these types of experiences. Hopefully people look back and see the blessings!
“Blessings wrapped in sand paper” I love it Lynn. Looking back I’ve had a number of these. I’m a great believer in “everything happens for a reason” and while we might be in despair at the time a relationship fails, or when we don’t get that “perfect” job or that “perfect” client, time heals and reveals why it was better that we moved on.
Agreed Jackie! Sometimes going through the tough times and also not getting what we thought was the perfect thing brings so much more to our life and experiences.
The key is to discover the insecurities, worries, and fears that drive each of us. Why do some relationships work and some don’t? I’ve been happily married over 20 years and it’s because I got comfortable with me, and came to terms with the negative things that drove me. If you do that while you’re single, it makes dating, courting, and marriage that much simpler. You’re confident and assured of who you are and what you want. If a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t work out it’s because you’re not compatible, not because you sabotaged it from negative thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or emotions.
Definitely wisdom there in getting comfortable with yourself. Integrating the things we’ve learned in life (the easy and the difficult lessons) helps to grow our understanding of ourselves.
“I know I’ll experience more sandpaper, but I am ready for the lessons and blessings. I can now look for the blessings and not just see or feel the sandpaper. I am ready for the transformation from difficult times to learning invaluable lessons and incorporating them into a life made stronger.”
Thank you for exposing your vulnerability. I do think we learn the most about ourselves through relationships. Most of ours have a bit of sandpaper that chafes now and then. A lasting one will be mostly bessings.
Thank you Roz. Those scratchy times make the journey interesting and provide such learning opportunities. And when you can see the blessings – it makes those times all the more worth it!
This sounds very interesting. Blessings wrapped in sandpaper. At first I was curious about what you meant but now I get it. Thanks for sharing such a great post!
You are so welcome Nate!
Beautiful post. I have never heard it explained as blessings wrapped in sandpaper, it creates a visual image in the mind. I always have said looking for the gold in the situation. Great description.
Isn’t it a most fitting description for some of our blessings Michelle? I love the imagery of looking for gold!
A well written post I too believe that all things happen for a reason, we may not like that things didn’t work out at that time but when you look back you realise it probably was for the best.
Thank you Nayna! Hindsight is so valuable. And adding some time. Time highlights the blessings! 🙂
WOW! I’ve never heard of “Blessings wrapped in sandpaper” till today. I’ve experienced a number of them in the last few years. They have been a good lesson. 😉
I just loved this saying when I heard it. It is so perfect. The goal is to embrace the lesson – there is joy and learning in it eventually!
I ask those same questions.. and i look for answers, but there is a road map for all of us, with twists and turns in it.. eventually we will get to the promise land. i truly believe that!
That is awesome! I totally agree. And it is about the interesting journey as well as enjoying the arrival at the destination.
Loved your article! I loved your first sentence in the last paragraph, very empowering! Thank you!
Thank you Gilly. Those scratchy times will come and it is so important to be aware of the hidden blessing.
I had never heard of “blessings wrapped in sandpaper”. That does describe the things we face in life pretty good. They mold us into who we are as long as we let the situations we encounter take us out!
You are so right Sandy! Our situations mold us. Experience is the best teacher!