I used to often pride myself on my independent streak. Now don’t get me wrong, I think independence is generally healthy. It becomes unhealthy when you think you can do it all – by yourself. Yep – been there, done that! Luckily I have learned from my misinterpretation of independent.
Independence does not exclude assistance from others. It also does not include asking for assistance as a sign of weakness.
In my business I often see people struggling whether it is personally or professionally. They struggle because they are trying to do everything on their own. They believe that entrepreneurship requires blazing a trail all alone. I see them mistake uniqueness with thinking they must wear a super cape and be everything at every time.
Advice: In today’s world you should think about working smarter, not harder! I highly suggest you find a coach or mentor that has ALREADY DONE what you are doing. It doesn’t have to be the same exact thing, but something close. I found that when I looked for guidance from people who have done something related to what I wanted to do, they were more than happy to help! And when seeking assistance you can still wear your super cape!
Why reinvent the wheel?! Learn from the journey of others. Ask them about their successes and mistakes. Trust me, people are out there that want to share their experience so your next few years don’t have to be as difficult as perhaps their last few years were. To work smarter and not harder, look for someone who is 10 steps ahead of you. I have learned great insight that has catapulted my company leaps and bounds from mentors. They shared their experiences openly and honestly. There is enough for everyone. And truthfully, if someone is stingy with sharing their experience, you don’t need that kind of mentor!
So try it! Ask for help. There still will be struggles, wins and triumphs. Don’t struggle when you don’t have to! Every ounce of effort spent extraneously struggling is time and effort taken away from work on your successes. And then someday you can use your super cape to help an up-and-comer by sharing your experience!
Hey Lynn,
Really good article and reminder. Thank you! As I was reading it, I was thinking that this really is a life lesson whether you’re my age or older/younger! My two daughters, ages 7 and 23, are very independent – wonder where they got that!? Yet we can all use this advice for personal or business reasons at any age. We (I?) sometimes forget there’s always someone who has been there, done that, and are usually willing to lend a hand or some mentoring.
Thanks again.
Asking for help has always been tough for me until I realized that it was because I was tied to the outcome. It would hurt my feelings if they said no, or I worried that they would say yes and then let me down. Now I ask, feeling blessed if they say yes or help out in any way. The no’s are my gift to them–not making them feel like they have to say yes. Great article!
What a fantastic perspective! I love it!
Lynn,
This is vital information that many of us (ahem, I guess I mean me) tend to forget when we’re wanting to prove our abilities to our partners, customers and competition. Thanks for the insightful post – time to take it to heart!
Thanks Garth! It’s sometimes hard to ask for assistance, but it can be a time saver and you get great knowledge you never would have received if not for the help of others!