Have you ever had to write a bio for yourself? Or develop a resume highlighting skills you have mastered? Or create a goals list of things you want to accomplish?
Often people find this a very difficult task – to talk about themselves in a positive light or picture themselves in a positive opportunity. This is almost a modern plight in my opinion. We are taught at a young age not to “brag”. While I do believe there is a difference between arrogance and confidence, it has seemingly become taboo to speak positively about ourselves.
I see this manifest itself when people try to set goals and visualize success for themselves. A common starting point is to create a list of goals. And almost every time people start out with:
Well……………………..
- I can’t live without a regular paycheck
- I can’t leave my 9-5 job
- I can’t imagine myself doing something so risky
And then these statements morph into:
- I don’t want to be poor
- I don’t want to not have a routine
- I don’t have a tolerance for risk
We are conditioned to view what we CAN’T do, or what we DON’T want. And this surfaces unconsciously when we struggle to think of things currently not in our everyday life, namely a new goal or possibility. This makes it nearly impossible to see new opportunities, adventures or options for changing our life. Instead of focusing on what we DO want, or what we CAN do, we shoot ourselves in the foot, and often slink away more depressed then at the beginning of looking to something new.
How to make the switch:
I do not prescribe to “just think different thoughts!” I believe you need to get from Point A to Point B and that it is a process… a journey. So try these tips if you find yourself beginning with “I can’t” or “I don’t”. And please note these statements can also include “I’m not”, “I shouldn’t”, “I wouldn’t”, etc.
- Fold a piece of 8.5 x 11 paper in half length-wise, thus creating two columns down the page.
- On the left side, write the “can’t” or “don’t” statement.
- On the right side, write a “can” or “do” statement.
This will begin to train your mind to seek out the positive statement. So your paper may look something like this:
| I can’t change careers at my age | I can accept a new job at any time |
| I don’t have enough experience | I do have the ability to learn quickly |
| I don’t know anything about being a personal trainer | I do work out regularly and am capable of helping others with their workout routine |
Once you have your list, fold back the left side (even tear it off and burn it!) and you are now left with positive, affirming statements to help motivate you.
Once you get these “…n’t” statements out of your head, you will be surprised at the wonderful thoughts and ideas that begin to occur. Go ahead. Give it a try. You CAN do it!
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