If You Say So!

I used to say that I was glad that patience wasn’t the ONLY virtue. Patience was a skill that had managed to elude me.

Then I met a great lady who became my life coach during a particularly turbulent time in my life.

I remember mentioning to her during one of our earlier session how I was not very patient, and without missing a beat she said, “If you say so…”

My immediate thought was that yes, I do say so. I don’t like to wait. I do like things to happen in a quick fashion. So, yes, I say I am not patient.

But her words stayed with me. I could hear her saying them to me. (And I believe if you have a great life coach – that is what happens – you can hear them in your head!) It made me continue to think that there must be a deeper meaning behind her statement.

Then the light bulb came on.

I realized she was right … in more ways than one! Yes, on the surface I did say I was not patient. And on a deeper level I realized that she was letting me know that I was the only one putting that label, or limitation, on myself.

The thing I realized is that I had created a very safe place to stay. I could hide behind this label of “not patient.” I could not have to work on the thought paradigms that had carved that lack of patience into my reality. I could rest on my laurels and stay adamant. I could continue to fib to myself that there is no work to be done on this because it is just me. It’s just the way I’m wired. It is the way I’m built. And I could continue to fib to myself that I am ok with that!

But in the end, that is exactly what it was – a lie.

I was lying to myself. I was taking the easy way out.

And the interesting thing about expanding your knowledge is that once you know something, you can’t go on like you never did. That knowledge is always there. That growth, that needle move for me, to move from where I was ok saying I was not patient to understanding that this was a limitation I was putting on myself would never fade away. I could choose to ignore it, but in reality, that knowledge was there to stay.

So I decided I would get those big girl panties on and make a different choice.

Now I am not saying I am perfect at it. And there are times when waiting is still difficult. But by breaking the binds of this label I can now allow. I can enjoy the ride and know that everything happens in its own time. I can be satisfied and happy that I stay in action toward something, but that it will happen at the most opportune time for me. I replaced a lack of patience with a strength in faith.

Are you hiding behind labels such as this that you have put on yourself? Here are some tips to help break that cycle:

• Write down statements you seem to make about yourself. Try to catch when you say things like “Well, I’m just…” or “I have just always…”
• Review these statements and tell yourself “If you say so.”
• If discomfort sets in, write out some action steps where you can change that label and your belief in that label.
• Write affirmations to counter set the subconscious mantra you have seeded and now reap.

There may be some keepers you really like when you reflect upon telling yourself “If you say so.” Honor those, but use this to take the time to weed out self-statements that do not serve you. These statements become second nature and often we do not even realize we say them. But our subconscious does! And it reinforces these labels.

If you say so. That is an awfully powerful statement. Make sure it stands not for something from which you are hiding, but for something that makes you stand tall and proud to claim.

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Just include this complete statement with the content: A. Lynn Jesus, CEO and Purpose Expert with Thriveology, is dedicated to helping people discover their purpose and live life on their terms. Are you ready to get started? Get her FREE guidebook 5 Steps to Begin Defining Your Journey.